Some Thoughts About Abuse, Anger, and Victimization
Count Words — Reading Time
by James Stewart
Location: Greater Sudbury Public Library, 74 Mackenzie St., Sudbury, Ontario, P3C 4X8, Canada
There are many sad stories posted. Some are difficult, even painful, to read. There are also a number of hopeful stories which suggest which truly negative situations, such as abuse, can be overcome. As I consider the various comments, I'm struck by how people handle similar situations so differently… By how some people are able to transform themselves, over time, so as to leave an abusive situation — others, don't seem to be able to get unstuck from the bonds that hold them in-place.
It's not always the case that people can leave an abusive situation. Some people are trapped economically and/or politically. Some people cannot leave easily because, to do so, will cause them to have to leave their children behind; for instance. Other people cannot provide for themselves easily. These sorts of situations are difficult to do anything about — at least, in the short term. However, there are also many reasons that people use to justify staying in abuse situations that are, potentially, under their control to change.
It strikes me that part of becoming able to leave an abuse situation involves learning to change the way that you think about yourself. In particular, the way that abused people relate to the idea that they're victims seems to be important. As a way to organize my thoughts on this subject, I've come up with three stages that some abuse victims seem to move through as they work their way through their difficulties.