James W.D. Stewart

James W.D. Stewart

Embrace "The Suck"


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This is my view, from my foxhole.  Everybody has their own war…  Take what you need — leave the rest.  And, most importantly, I reserve the right to change and evolve my opinions over time…  That's what good conversations do — blogs, inherently, are conversations.

 

Blog :: James W.D. Stewart

https://forces.army/blog/page11/

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  • The Moral Logic of Survivor Guilt

    /blog/2017/04/27/the-moral-logic-of-survivor-guilt/

    The Moral Logic of Survivor Guilt
    Count Words — Reading Time
    by James Stewart
    Published: 
    Updated:  N/A
    Location:  Memorial Park, Sudbury, Ontario, Canada

    If there's one thing we have learned from returning war veterans — especially, those of the last decade — it's that the emotional reality of the soldier at home's often at odds with that of the civilian public which they left behind.  And, while friends and families of returning service members may be experiencing gratefulness and/or relief, many of those they've welcomed home are likely struggling with other emotions.

    High on that list of emotions, is guilt.  Soldiers often carry this burden home — survivor guilt being, perhaps, the kind most familiar to us.  In war, standing here rather than there can save your life, but cost a buddy his.  It's fucking luck, but you feel responsible though.  The guilt begins an endless loop of counterfactuals — thoughts that you could've and/or should've done otherwise — though, in fact, you did nothing wrong.  The feelings are, of course, not restricted to the battle-field.  But, given the magnitude of loss during war, they hang heavy there, and are pervasive.  And, they raise the question of just how irrational those feelings are…  If they aren't, of what is the basis of their reasonableness?

  • 7 Things Destroying Your Mental Energy

    /blog/2017/04/26/7-things-destroying-your-mental-enegery/

    7 Things Destroying Your Mental Energy
    Count Words — Reading Time
    by James Stewart
    Published: 
    Updated:  N/A
    Location:  Greater Sudbury Public Library, 74 Mackenzie St., Sudbury, Ontario, P3C 4X8, Canada

    I know you want to have more extended periods of focus throughout your day.  We all do.  Deep work's where the magic happens.

    Finding that time can be difficult.  Light interactions bog us down.  Answering e-mails, addressing questions from employees in the hallway, phone calls, etc. — it all adds up.

    Sometimes we just need more energy.  Many of us get caught in a cycle of destruction.  I've been there before.  When I first became an entrepreneur, I was miserable.

  • Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

    /blog/2017/04/26/get-comfortable-with-being-uncomfortable/

    Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
    Count Words — Reading Time
    by James Stewart
    Published: 
    Updated:    Fixed the List Formatting
    Location:  Greater Sudbury Public Library, 74 Mackenzie St., Sudbury, Ontario, P3C 4X8, Canada

    I've been an entrepreneur for several years.  Midway through last year, things were coming to a head.  I wasn't getting enough sleep…  I wasn't exercising…  I wasn't keeping my mind clear with meditation.

    In the middle of, what felt like the most stressful month of my life, my most senior officer stealthily forced me out of my own corporation.  While I was complaining about the debacle to an entrepreneur friend of mine, he called my ass out:

    Get comfortable with the feeling that you have right now.

  • Why You Need to Embrace 'The Suck' in 2017

    /blog/2017/04/26/why-you-need-to-embrace-the-suck-in-2017/

    Why You Need to Embrace 'The Suck' in 2017
    Count Words — Reading Time
    by James Stewart
    Published: 
    Updated:    Added a Citation
    Location:  Greater Sudbury Public Library, 74 Mackenzie St., Sudbury, Ontario, P3C 4X8, Canada

    The military has a way of boiling everything down to its most eloquent and basic foundation.  They teach newcomers to embrace, what they refer to as, "the suck".

    It's that threshold where your body breaks down and your mind takes over.  If you're weak-minded and ready to quit, your body will follow suit.  If you're expecting "the suck", then you welcome it — even, embrace it.  You won't succumb to it — you push yourself through it.

  • 21 Things You Shouldn't Say to Sexual Abuse Victims

    /blog/2017/04/25/21-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-sexual-abuse-victims/

    21 Things You Shouldn't Say to Sexual Abuse Victims
    Count Words — Reading Time
    by James Stewart
    Published: 
    Updated:  N/A
    Location:  Greater Sudbury Public Library, 74 Mackenzie St., Sudbury, Ontario, P3C 4X8, Canada

    I've heard my share of insensitive comments.  I've also talked to enough victims to be able to gather some of the most damaging words here — for the sake of those who truly want to be helpful, loving, and sensitive.

    My intent for writing this article isn't to shame those who want to help and/or to make them walk on eggshells.  Rather, it's to help friends and family members of victims, best love and understand, the journey that is sexual abuse recovery.

 

 

 

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Creative Commons Licence :: BY-NC-SA James W.D. Stewart by James Stewart is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.  Based on a work at https://github.com/jwds1978/jwds1978.github.io.