James W.D. Stewart

James W.D. Stewart

Embrace "The Suck"


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I've been an entrepreneur for several years.  Midway through last year, things were coming to a head.  I wasn't getting enough sleep…  I wasn't exercising…  I wasn't keeping my mind clear with meditation.

In the middle of, what felt like the most stressful month of my life, my most senior officer stealthily forced me out of my own corporation.  While I was complaining about the debacle to an entrepreneur friend of mine, he called my ass out:

Get comfortable with the feeling that you have right now.

/blog/2017/04/26/get-comfortable-with-being-uncomfortable/

https://forces.army/blog/2017/04/26/get-comfortable-with-being-uncomfortable/

Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

Count Words — Reading Time
by James Stewart
Published: 
Updated:    Fixed the List Formatting
Location:  Greater Sudbury Public Library, 74 Mackenzie St., Sudbury, Ontario, P3C 4X8, Canada
 

 

I've been an entrepreneur for several years.  Midway through last year, things were coming to a head.  I wasn't getting enough sleep…  I wasn't exercising…  I wasn't keeping my mind clear with meditation.

In the middle of, what felt like the most stressful month of my life, my most senior officer stealthily forced me out of my own corporation.  While I was complaining about the debacle to an entrepreneur friend of mine, he called my ass out:

Get comfortable with the feeling that you have right now.

Somewhat confused, I asked, "what feeling?"…  He replied:

Feeling uncomfortable.  Get comfortable, feeling uncomfortable.

He stopped me right in my fucking tracks…  He was right.  We all need to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable…  We're too damn soft!  I was a tough-as-nails mother-fucker, while in the service, and was starting to get fucking soft…  Ugh!

Here are 7 ways to get comfortable with being uncomfortable:

  1. Start
    • The first step is always the most uncomfortable…  All you have to do is show up.  The battle is half-won if you just show up.  I get it — it's uncomfortable to start something.
       
      If possible, make the decision to start on your own rather than have someone make that decision for you.  Once you start, you're going to want to quit immediately.
       
      Whenever you start something, it sucks.  You start a diet — it sucks.  You start working out — it sucks.
       
      Remind yourself that you made a decision.  You're already committed — there's no going back.
  2. Don't quit.
    • You've decided to start.  You're not seeing results.  It's difficult.  You want to quit.  It's OK.  Just keep pushing forward.
       
      You're going to start thinking of a way out, where you can quit, and save face.  Don't do it.  Don't give yourself an out…  Just, don't.  Don't give yourself any options.  Either you succeed or you fail.
       
      No fucking excuses.
       
      The point when you're just about to give up is the precise moment when the other guy gives up.  At some point, you're going to ask yourself, "why am I doing this?"…  You'd better have an answer.  What's driving you?  Is it something someone said and/or did to you?  Is it a competition?
       
      Is it a challenge?  Is it something that you have to prove to yourself?  Is it just pride?  Whatever it is, it had better be powerful.
  3. Push yourself past your comfort zone.
    • At some point, you're going to say to yourself, "I've never done this before" and/or "I don't know what I'm doing".
       
      We've all been there.  Here's a trick…  Don't say it out loud.  Just pretend to be confident…  Fake it, 'til you make it.  It's scary, but I promise you this…  When it's over, you're going to say, "it wasn't as bad as I thought it was".  Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.
  4. Embrace "the suck".
    • The situation is bad — deal with it.  And, don't just deal with it — open your arms and welcome it, as you would an old friend.  You know him well.
       
      Just when you think things couldn't get any worse, he shows up.  "The suck" is here to make you tougher.  He's a friend that arrived to make you better.  Instead of complaining, celebrate the blessing that is "the suck".
       
      If you're embracing "the suck" by yourself, laugh at how ridiculous the situation is.  You're building your mental and physical toughness points.  If you're embracing the suck with others, you've just made new best friends for life.
       
      Embracing "the suck" within a group is a powerful bonding experience.
  5. Be around like-mided people.
    • Create a support network.  Talk about your experiences.  The worse the experience is to you, the better the story is to everyone else.
       
      Soon, you'll be seeking uncomfortable experiences to share with your friends.  Be a good story-teller.
  6. Recognize your improvements.
    • Track your progress…  Revel in it.  You're now a changed person.  You know it, because you see it.  Build your confidence by going back to what, before was uncomfortable, and go through the experience again.
       
      You're seeing your progress in real-time.  By nature, you're going to want to push the envelope to find out your boundaries.  You'll find yourself saying, "I wish it would suck more".  It's our human nature to know what we're able to overcome.
  7. Rinse…  Repeat.
    • There's an old Russian saying, "povtorenie mat ucheniya", which means "repetition is the mother of learning".
       
      The more that you perform the same activity, the more confident you become.  Confidence is a tangible thing — it comes from practice and repetition.

 
Categories:  Lifestyle  
Tags:  How to, The Suck

 
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Creative Commons Licence :: BY-NC-SA James W.D. Stewart by James Stewart is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.  Based on a work at https://github.com/jwds1978/jwds1978.github.io.