Growing a Handlebar Moustache

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I Have a Moustache, Therefore I AmI’ve been growing a beard over recent months…  Additionally, I’ve not shaved my moustache either.  My intent’s to keep growing my beard and ‘stache.  Ultimately, the pinnacle will be a rather distinguished “handlebar”.

Thus far, it’s coming along quite nicely.  My moustache is about ready to start waxing…  I’m, currently, filtering my drink/food.  Over the next few weeks, at some point, I’ll pick-up some moustache wax.  While I’d prefer somewhere local to walk-out with it in-hand, I may just order from Amazon.  Realistically, I’d more than likely get a better quality product and at a cheaper price than locally anyhow.

The handlebar moustache is characterised by long and upward-curving ends (i.e. extremities).  The name, handlebar, is derived from the resemblance of the moustache to the handles found on the bicycles.   moustaches are sometimes referred to as spaghetti moustaches.  The name, spaghetti moustache, is due to its association — stereotypically — with Italian men.

moustaches are made possible by the use of moustache wax, making the extremities of the handlebar moustache — the greater the dramatic appearance that’s achieved, the better.

The majority of handlebar experts would say that you’d need a bare minimum of, at least, 1½ months of growth before your ‘stache is long enough to be styled into the correct handlebar shape.  However, you’ll need to start training your moustache now though, in order to achieve that most glorious of forms.  Personally, I’ve been training it by combing it several times throughout the day — getting it wanting to grow in a certain way.

Step #1 — Don’t Trim It

Don't Trim

Don’t trim it!  No matter how tempting it is, don’t trim your moustache — ever.

Step #2 — It


When your moustache’s long enough to comb, comb it once per day.  Create a part by combing the hair, out from under the nose to the left and to the right, respectively.  This will train your ‘stache to grow-out in the traditional handlebar fashion.  A simple comb will do the trick.  If you want to get fancy, go with a wooden moustache comb.

Step #3 — It


After getting out of the shower, leave your moustache damp.  Starting in the middle of your lip, apply a small dab of moustache wax with your fingertip to the upper edge, and use a comb to spread it down throughout the hair.  Work your way out to each end, applying more wax, as needed.  If your moustache happens to be somewhat wiry, use more wax.

Twist and Shape

To add that distinctive handlebar curl, apply some wax to the ends, twisting the hairs together with your fingers.  Then curl the twisted hair up and in.  You can also create a curl by winding the ends as tightly as possible around a writing pen.

Step #5 — Maintain It


Owning a handlebar moustache’s a commitment…  You have to wash it, comb it, wax it, and curl it — every day.  However, should the day arrive that you have to take part in a bare-knuckle boxing match, the investment will be well worth it.

Works Cited

“How to Grow a Mustache.” The Art of liness. . (2012): . Web.

“The .” Madness. . (2013): . Web.

James Stewart

Commander at Forces.ARMY
James, a Canadian Forces veteran, is an information technology consultant.

He's based in Sudbury, Ontario, Canada…However, he's able to telecommute globally though.He's willing to travel, upon pre-payment of associated expenses (i.e. airfare, hotel, etc.), as well.

James doesn't sugar-coat shit…He's not Willy fucking Wonka!

James has been professionally developing software since circa 2000.You may recognise him from cPanel and/or WHMCS.Although he's versed in several programming languages, he has focused primarily on PHP.